the snow has started falling which means my husband is gone, plowing snow for 12- 16 hours at a time. with the forecast this weekend of pretty much non stop snow from saturday afternoon into monday, my mom and dad offered to take my oldest for the weekend to help out and make it easier for me. so from saturday afternoon, until tomorrow, monday morning, he is at their house. its nice for him as he gets one on one time and time away from his normalcy and his little brother who follows him everywhere. so, i was happy he was off to mimi's house.
but this house? this house is too quiet. its too quiet. it doesnt even matter that im exhausted because the little one took a late nap yesterday, didnt fall asleep till 11:30pm, was up out of bed by 4am this morning after trying everything to get him back to bed. and then on top of that, he didnt nap today. i tried everything. alas, no break or rest for me today. yes, its easier with just one child considering its snowy, my husband is gone, etc etc whatever, but without my oldest, im lost.
im. lost.
i had no one to boss me around and tell me what to do, where to go, what to cook. hardly any messes to clean up. without him, there is a massive void. a void that can only be filled by him.
i was so lost.
my oldest pushes my buttons, on a daily basis, all i ask for in my mind is a break. a break from the constant fighting, the chaos, the noise, etc.
i got that today. and i wont miss it.
i miss him. <3
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